Sunday, August 26, 2012

Sunday Randoms - Shit my editors says

I won't lie, I kind of love referring to "My editors" even though they're just friends of mine who are great with spelling/grammar and deconstructing scenes to point out where they do and don't work. They've been incredibly patient and encouraging and constructive as I slough through the incredibly long editing process. Sometimes however, I break them a little. Here are a few of my favorite examples of breaking Editor Number 1 (or him being a bastard). I hope that those of you aspiring writers see that with a little help, editing can be fun!

"Sentences are baked goods, punctuation is the frosting and related decorations, and you insist on using a melon baller"

"THAN IS A WORD GOD DAMN IT! USE IT!"

"I almost wish I had been keeping count of all of the then/than mistakes. Almost."

"I'm at the point where I'm just curious what you think the the rules of punctuation are. I feel like I've found some rare and strange breed of butterfly."

"We will have a punctuation workshop – there may be a flipchart with pictures of monsters, and well-structured sentences to describe them"

"I am leaving the paragraphing to Alex, because his suffering amuses me"

"Do you just hate scene breaks?  Did you once share an apartment with a scene break that stole your stuff and never washed dishes?"

"You have the soul of a poet
trapped inside an onyx casket in your closet
screaming for an end to its suffering"

"This wording seems out of place to me. I need to come up with an acronym for that. TWSOOPTM."

Editing has been going well, as you can all see.

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